Here’s what I know for sure:

While there are no easy ways to success, there is a simple way. And it’s one thing you can do now that will help you down the road to success.

In the almost year long path that I’ve been on a pursuit to follow my freelance writing dreams, I’ve learned a few things.

1. You can’t trust everybody. I had enough deadbeat clients to learn that the hard way. But it also taught me my next lesson.
2. I’m responsible for my career. This means that I need to be selective about the people I work with, write for and invite into my professional life. This leads to lesson #3 and what I consider to be the #1 secret for a successful life.
3. Confidence! If you don’t feel it, feign it. Why? Because over the last year I realized that you get what you think you deserve. If you feel unworthy of a successful freelance writing career, then you’ll get exactly what you think you’re worth.

The big ‘aha’ moment for me came when I dug in deep and discovered that what was really holding me back was me. There was a voice that said that I was not good enough as a writer to do it for a living.

The thing that got it from boisterous betrayer to wimpy whisper is understanding that I was creating my destiny. I was tripping over my own path because I believed that I wasn’t good enough to deserve better.

What got me over the hurdle was building up my own sense of self-worth. Reminding myself of how far I’ve come professionally and silencing the inner critic with a larger than life ally.

The difference has been profound.

Just thinking that I deserve everything I desire has gotten me better clients, better pay (in one case, almost 7x’s what I was making at the start) and more opportunities. The best indicator of the change is my writing. Just like the way people can perceive in your body language how you feel about yourself, I think you wear your writing on your sleeve.

While I’m still a work-in-progress, I definitely think that confidence has helped me go from, “I think I’m a writer,” to “Yes I can and Yes I am a writer!” And this single secret to success, I believe can also help you on your own endeavors. Try on a bit of confidence, wear Oprah’s or a mentor, someone you idolize, and see if that doesn’t get you one step closer to your dreams!

It’s the end of another long week freelancers. And on this freelance Friday, I must ask, “What do you do to decompress?”

I know how it goes. You’re toiling away at your computer, making phone calls, coming up with creative queries, networking, marketing your services and spending the spare time you have left on Facebook or Twitter. With all of that and your ever growing to-do list, do you ever make time for yourself?

In Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance (Artist’s Way), author Julia Cameron suggests artists make a weekly date with themselves, write daily in a journal (what she calls morning pages) and take a walk. I try to do at least one of those a week and when I don’t, my writing libido falls and inspiration starts to wane.

As a fun Friday, please share your own experience on what you do to keep yourself motivated. As for me, I’ll let you in on my own little secret. When I’m feeling really uninspired, I do what I’ve done since I was in high school…I go straight to the car wash.

For just about under 6 bucks, I get an exciting amusement park ride, a 5 minute trip to the spa and a psychedelic trip all meshed into one. You might be surprised to know I’m just going to a regular, pretty ordinary car wash. What makes it exciting is my ability to transform the experience by concentrated, conscious focus on it.

By being present in the moment, the sounds of water splashed onto my car reminds me of a waterfall, the methodic rhythm of the brushes hitting against my window puts me in a meditative state and the colorful bubbles sprayed onto my car feels ethereal. It’s the reason why I get claustrophobic on a small plane, but being in my tiny two door car in a car wash makes me feel completely relaxed. Even the rude lady at the front fails to reckon with my mood.

I think it’s all about being aware of the ordinary moments around you. When you stop and pay attention to the little details of life, you’ll gain something greater than another check-mark off your to-do list, you’ll gain perspective, insight, and clarity. You might even give yourself the space to let more inspiration and ideas flow in.

So now it’s your turn: When life gets too overwhelming, what kinds of things do you do to bring back fun?

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Have you ever had a bad haircut? I’m sure we’ve all had them. As for me, I’m like TLC’s Duggarts, I’m on my fifth and counting.

The thing my husband always says after I get back from another disappointing hairdo is, “I don’t get it. You tell them exactly what you want and they never do it the way you want.”

“Hmm,” I thought. There’s a bit of wisdom in there somewhere.

The more I pondered, the more I saw that there was a similarity between bad haircuts and bad business.

When I go into a new salon, I’m super excited. I believe this may be the best haircut yet. The hairstylist and I will either be great friends or will be quiet so I can just sit there, get my hair shampooed and take a nap. I even bring my infamous computer printout of my dream hairstyle: Carrie Bradshaw’s layered do ala Season 6 (after Burger, before Petrovsky.)

And then somewhere between the introductory chatter and a blow dry, I get everything but the haircut I wanted.

The same hairstyle done five ways and all bad. And then I realized.

It’s just like writing biz! A client can interview 10 potential writers, for example, and they all have totally different styles, some good, some bad. It’s all about the fit.

As for me, I went in thinking I’d get a cool, chic modern cut and got a rocker do instead. A great style, but for a completely different personality.

So what could I have done?

Be brave and say, “Um. Excuse me, but I don’t think this is exactly what I was hoping for. Do you think you could cut a little less up here and more on the sides there?”

Of course, I’d never want to tell a hairstylist how to do their job, but like the writing business I’ve learned it is a lot better to be clear.

• Be clear about what your expectations are. This prevents miscommunication and a disappointing outcome.
• Be clear about exactly what type of writing style they are looking for and what you can deliver.
• Be clear about how much they will pay you and when and what that rate includes (e.g. two rounds of editing, etc.)

Here’s the thing. It takes a little bit of courage to speak up. The whole time I was sitting in the stylist’s chair when his insanely hot blow dryer was burning my scalp, I was wincing not screaming. It’s hard to tell someone, “Hey this isn’t working! This isn’t a good fit!”

But here’s what I learned, it’s better to be honest about what you can and can’t do at the beginning. And much better to speak up when you feel like things are not working. Trust me, you’ll be saving yourself time, money and inevitably a bad business to be upfront from the start. Not to mention avoiding any burned scalps or bridges later.

The wheels started turning a year ago. My dream of being a freelance writer was beginning to come into fruition. But there was something amiss. My career never really took off until a few months ago after I left a cubicle job for freelance freedom. Part of it was a disbelief that I could really do it and the other part was my attitude with the query letter. I just didn’t like doing it. Scratch that. I despised it.

Worse than a cover letter, it made me feel like I was on trial. With cover letters, I also felt a bit detached from the process. Introduce myself here. Boast a bit there. Sign and we’re done.

But with queries, I felt cornered. Forced to somehow prove that I could be a writer when I didn’t even feel like I was one. So I faked it. And I didn’t do it well either.

I did this for awhile. Write crappy letters all with a hidden agenda: just to do it so I felt like I was doing something. All the awhile I felt insignificant and a failure. I never thought that a publisher would ever accept my idea and you know what? I was right!

What’s different between then and now? I actually fell in love with query writing because of the following:

1. I suddenly let the possibility that somewhere someone someday soon would like my writing and accept it in their publication.
2. I worked hard at my craft. Taking classes, writing daily, and collecting more clips.
3. I developed confidence. Everyone had to start out somewhere and if them, why not me?
4. I went from boring cover letter to article quality queries. I treated every query as a real article and that made the process challenging, fun and engaging.
5. I didn’t take it personally. Every rejection letter I’ve received has been just another publication to cross off my list. It’s a numbers game and the more I get out there, the greater my chance of getting published.

Are there any things that helped you get over the query hurdle into becoming a query writing expert?