Here’s what I know for sure:

While there are no easy ways to success, there is a simple way. And it’s one thing you can do now that will help you down the road to success.

In the almost year long path that I’ve been on a pursuit to follow my freelance writing dreams, I’ve learned a few things.

1. You can’t trust everybody. I had enough deadbeat clients to learn that the hard way. But it also taught me my next lesson.
2. I’m responsible for my career. This means that I need to be selective about the people I work with, write for and invite into my professional life. This leads to lesson #3 and what I consider to be the #1 secret for a successful life.
3. Confidence! If you don’t feel it, feign it. Why? Because over the last year I realized that you get what you think you deserve. If you feel unworthy of a successful freelance writing career, then you’ll get exactly what you think you’re worth.

The big ‘aha’ moment for me came when I dug in deep and discovered that what was really holding me back was me. There was a voice that said that I was not good enough as a writer to do it for a living.

The thing that got it from boisterous betrayer to wimpy whisper is understanding that I was creating my destiny. I was tripping over my own path because I believed that I wasn’t good enough to deserve better.

What got me over the hurdle was building up my own sense of self-worth. Reminding myself of how far I’ve come professionally and silencing the inner critic with a larger than life ally.

The difference has been profound.

Just thinking that I deserve everything I desire has gotten me better clients, better pay (in one case, almost 7x’s what I was making at the start) and more opportunities. The best indicator of the change is my writing. Just like the way people can perceive in your body language how you feel about yourself, I think you wear your writing on your sleeve.

While I’m still a work-in-progress, I definitely think that confidence has helped me go from, “I think I’m a writer,” to “Yes I can and Yes I am a writer!” And this single secret to success, I believe can also help you on your own endeavors. Try on a bit of confidence, wear Oprah’s or a mentor, someone you idolize, and see if that doesn’t get you one step closer to your dreams!

Surprised?

I wasn’t. Here’s why:

I recently did an experiment for The Joy Diet (week 6 treat week) where I had to indulge in two treats a day. While I admit that a few times during the week “treats” meant something sweet, a sugar coma eventually forced me to find alternative ways to fulfill the condition. Eventually I realized that all work and no play wasn’t a good thing. In fact, it got me further away from my goals.

I think the difficulty with us work at home, freelancing folks is that we can really never do enough.

There’s always invoices to create, work that needs to be done and marketing calls to make. This makes it all the more important to refocus and do the very opposite we think needs to be done. Spend time doing nothing, do something fun.

On the Oprah show last week, guests like Buddy Valestro a.k.a. The Cake Boss and J. Crew executive creative director Jenna Lyons talked about their glamorous dream jobs. While their amazingly decadent careers made me drool, it was their passion that really excited me. And then a light bulb went off. It’s not that they worked super hard, but that they were playing hard that really got to me. Doing something fun and being good at it could mean a dream career. We just have to play to discover it.

It could also be a great diversion that can make you more productive.

Being writers, at least for me, means that I need to step away from my computer every once in awhile. I don’t have to do something grand, but sometimes just hanging up the laundry can give me enough of a break for me to come up with my next article idea.

The takeaway?

It’s important to work hard to be a successful freelancer, but don’t forget the importance of playing hard as well. Give your brain a break and you’ll open the door to possibility. Fill it with busyness (tasks, intense workouts without breaks in between) and there’ll be nothing left to give back.

Try it and see.

It’s the end of another long week freelancers. And on this freelance Friday, I must ask, “What do you do to decompress?”

I know how it goes. You’re toiling away at your computer, making phone calls, coming up with creative queries, networking, marketing your services and spending the spare time you have left on Facebook or Twitter. With all of that and your ever growing to-do list, do you ever make time for yourself?

In Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance (Artist’s Way), author Julia Cameron suggests artists make a weekly date with themselves, write daily in a journal (what she calls morning pages) and take a walk. I try to do at least one of those a week and when I don’t, my writing libido falls and inspiration starts to wane.

As a fun Friday, please share your own experience on what you do to keep yourself motivated. As for me, I’ll let you in on my own little secret. When I’m feeling really uninspired, I do what I’ve done since I was in high school…I go straight to the car wash.

For just about under 6 bucks, I get an exciting amusement park ride, a 5 minute trip to the spa and a psychedelic trip all meshed into one. You might be surprised to know I’m just going to a regular, pretty ordinary car wash. What makes it exciting is my ability to transform the experience by concentrated, conscious focus on it.

By being present in the moment, the sounds of water splashed onto my car reminds me of a waterfall, the methodic rhythm of the brushes hitting against my window puts me in a meditative state and the colorful bubbles sprayed onto my car feels ethereal. It’s the reason why I get claustrophobic on a small plane, but being in my tiny two door car in a car wash makes me feel completely relaxed. Even the rude lady at the front fails to reckon with my mood.

I think it’s all about being aware of the ordinary moments around you. When you stop and pay attention to the little details of life, you’ll gain something greater than another check-mark off your to-do list, you’ll gain perspective, insight, and clarity. You might even give yourself the space to let more inspiration and ideas flow in.

So now it’s your turn: When life gets too overwhelming, what kinds of things do you do to bring back fun?

The two guys who showed up were really nice and all and all I felt comfortable and supported, but it just wasn’t a good fit. The one thing that stayed with me was something one of the members said. He commented that a lot of poetry was “self-absorbed.” That stuck with me and made me question how much of my own writing was a form of narcissism.

The desire to be heard, the glory of the written word and the recognition that writing sometimes brings, all makes writing a self-indulgent gift. Yet, none of it has to do with making a living as a freelance writer or does it?

If you are just starting out, you may have to take a step back. Think about what you can provide for your client instead of what your writing can do for you. In one of my favorite books Steering by Starlight, Martha Beck says to think up 3 words to describe your perfect life (career, relationship, etc.). Then visualize bringing them into the worst parts of your life.

I think that also applies to your freelance writing career. If, for example, I want to provide a service, be inspirational and informative, I need to focus on writing for others instead of writing for myself. Visualizing being helpful, bringing something to the table and providing a service in an area where my career is lacking has definitely helped me to tackle new opportunities in a more positive, rewarding light.

That doesn’t mean I can’t write a self-indulgent poem here and there. I think writing for the sheer pleasure of it is an important part of keeping writing fresh and inspiring to you. But when you transform your life from writing as a hobby to writing as a career, you may need to give up your ego so that you can inspire and touch a bigger audience.

Have you done it yet?

Sure it may not be Christmas yet. Your tree is still up, ornaments hung and Santa has yet to visit your nest. But beyond the 25th, is another monster lurking, the end of 2009 and the beginning of a whole other year.

What would YOU like to see happen in 2010?

I know as a freelance writer I barely have time to take a breath let alone come up with a list of things I’d like to accomplish. Yet, I’m taking time during Christmas and New Year’s Eve to decide what goals are important to me. I know that if I don’t dream them up now, I won’t ever get to them. Things like…

1. Setting a goal of 1-3 queries a week.
2. Doubling my client list.
3. Getting more copywriting assignments via cold calls, networking and marketing.
4. Create an organized system of contracts, invoices and record keeping.
5. Sharpen my writing and marketing skills.
6. Keep learning through online classes and webinars such as Writer’s Digest: Ask the Editors webinar.
7. Join an online or offline local writer’s group.

What about you?

When things start to slow down from the holidays, will you also let things fade or use the time to build upon the new year?

I didn’t know much about Walt Disney except for the fact that he created 2 amazing amusement parks, one in California and the other where I got engaged in Florida. I also felt some kind of weird spiritual connection with the guy. In a way, I thought of him as a hero. Someone who aspired to create something magical in the world and was extremely successful in doing so.

What I learned from the museum was that Mr. Disney was a regular guy with a normal childhood. But he had a dream, a passion that fueled his actions. I learned a great deal about him from the exhibit but was surprised by the jewels of wisdom I garnered within myself.

Here are a few treasures I picked up from the museum, which I hope will inspire other writers, artists and creators to keep pursuing their passion and working on their craft.

1. “I lived on little things I could do on the side to pick up a little money here and there.” Disney started drawing as a child, and worked as a cartoonist for his high school. He continued to pursue drawing in his adult life. When times got tough, like it often does for creatives, he did everything he could to survive. Got to admire someone with that kind of gumption.
2. “Sometimes you’ve got to build yourself up and explode…And then begin to pick up the pieces and take stock.” I love this quote!! There are many times when mistakes and failure feel like the end. Disney, however, picked himself up after every fall and got better. His statement demonstrates to me that failure is a normal process in the pursuit of your dreams.
3. Disney learned from his mistakes. For example, he signed contracts before he read them and trusted people he shouldn’t have. Instead of beating himself up about it or blaming the other people involved, he quickly learned from his mistakes and moved on. As a freelancer, we’re bound to work with people who may not have our best interests at heart. Take a lesson from Disney and spend less time complaining and more time focusing on what you will do to avoid the same situation in the future.
4. He never let others get him down. Disney surrounded himself with people he liked to be around. He was optimistic and had a positive attitude. Several past employees and people who worked with him said he was a pleasure to be with, would talk to anyone, and never criticized those he worked with. Disney was professional and yet kind. What wonderful qualities to exhibit as a freelancer.
5. He kept getting better. At any time, Disney could have said okay I’ve done enough and stopped there. When one of the people he trusted took a year of his earnings he could have said, “That’s it! I’m done.” When he was poor, he could have given up and taken a better paying job. When he was rich, he could have said, “I’m done. Now I can retire.” But he didn’t. When he was successful as a cartoonist or as a film producer, he could have said, “That’s enough.” Instead he kept going.” It wasn’t the money that motivated him it was the dream. And I admire that. As writers we can and should always work on getting better. There’s really know limits for us if we can keep opening ourselves up to growth and possibility. Who knows where we will be a year from now? Hopefully twice as good as we are now!
6. Kindness does indeed pay off. There were a few greedy people in Disney’s past. But the people who helped him out were the ones who were the wealthiest. Those people who tried to take advantage of Disney may have swindled some money but in the end, they will forever be named as the people who tried to steal Disney’s money. On the other hand, one woman who helped him out when he was broke, is not only remembered by her kindness but was not forgotten by Disney who helped her with whatever she needed for the rest of her life. Love that karma.

There was a ton of things I learned from Walt Disney. I think hearing his struggle and success helped validate my own challenges. I realized the difficulties that I face as a freelance writer is not the end of the world. It is just one stepping stone toward my dreams. It also helped bring me perspective. If I can just put one foot in front of the other and rise above the negativity, difficulty and heartbreak that sometimes accompanies writing, I will one day be in the arena of my dreams. Just like Mr. Disney.

1. Kindle. At $259, writers like me can only dream that someone loves us THAT much! While there are other wireless readers with some still in the works, this one is definitely a writer’s ultimate holiday gift. That’s cause most of us writers are also avid readers. Having the ability to access hundreds of books at the touch of your fingertip is definitely a writer’s dream come true.
2. Livescribe pen.
   If you ever cursed the days spent retyping your handwritten notes, you’ll understand why this pen is a writer’s best friend. At $198 it’s almost as expensive as a Kindle, but its versatility makes it priceless. The Livescribe pen writes, records audio and all of your written notes.
3. Pride and Prejudice never looked so glamorous! Penguin classics like Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and Sense and Sensibility, have gotten a makeover. Perfect for the writer who adores classical novels. And they say you can’t judge a book by it’s cover…
4. Magazine subscriptions. Writers, especially magazine writers, thrive on content derived from magazine articles. But oftentimes, they’ll go the local library or buy a few copies rather than pay for an annual subscription. Make their day by getting them an inexpensive gift they’ll really make use of. Both The Writer and Writer’s Digest are great magazines for the working writer.
5. Gift certificate at his/her favorite coffeehouse. If you know a freelance writer, you probably know where they love to hang out. Although we spend the majority of our time working at home, we do come out once in awhile to frequent our favorite coffee shop. Get them a few cups on you and who knows, maybe they’ll dedicate their next novel to you!

What about you? Any gift ideas for your writer friends or wish they’d get for you this Christmas?