I’ve become enamored with Martha Beck’s book, “The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life.” Knee deep in chapter 4 (Creativity), I’ve been filled with mind blowing concepts that has thrilled me to no end. One of the titillating tidbits made me question my own freelance writing business skills and I thought I’d share the wealth with you.

I’m sure you already know that your thoughts control your actions. Saying to yourself hundred times of day, “I’m not good enough to make it as a freelancer,” for example, will inevitably help your thoughts become reality. But I know, I know. It’s hard to control the monkey mind.

But maybe it’s not about stopping or controlling your thoughts. Beck brought up the concept of dichotomous relationships that could be what’s blocking your creativity and unintentionally preventing you from being as successful as you want to be in freelancing.

Let me put it this way.

Have you ever thought, “I can either be happy or wealthy.” I admit I have. I grew up in a household where I was taught (spoken and unspoken) that to be wealthy you had to do something you hated. I subscribed to the belief and lived unhappily that way, first by working at a corporate job that did not fit, then quitting that and working as a freelancer with an unconscious ingrained belief that I could never financially support myself doing so.

In the end, I was right in both situations.

But who wants to be right about that?

If you’re like me, you may want to dig in deep to discover what may be holding you back. It’s not the competition, low pay, difficult clients or the economy. Maybe you need to shift the responsibility and look within. Of course, experience, hard work and talent helps a great deal, but if you’re not where you want to be, then it might be worth analyzing what you truly believe in and how it may be affecting your business and your writing.

So go ahead, try it.

I can either have ________ or __________.

Then change it to:

I can/will/intend to have both  _________  and  __________!

If you’re really feeling frisky, share it in the comments below.

I’ll go first.

I intend to have both money and happiness.

I can write full-time and be financially successful.

Now it’s your turn.

I’ve always been uber shy.  When I was a child, my mom bought me books where the protagonists are always shrinking violets.  In elementary school, I took a failing grade because the thought of speaking up in public was more mortifying than seeing an F on my report card.  It’s one of the reasons why I took so well to writing.  I could create words on paper and express myself while keeping any verbal discourse to myself.

Yet, somewhere along the line I realized that writing wasn’t just about sitting quietly and typing.  I could write all I wanted, but if I didn’t speak up and sell my writing, I might as well stick to a day job and keep writing as a hobby.

The transformation from shrinking violet to bold lily wasn’t an easy one, however. There were a ton of things I learned in the process.  Things like taking on a fearless persona or asking for what I need.  While challenging, it was all part of the journey.

If you’re hiding behind your own fear and insecurity, read on to learn a few tips that’ll help you get out from under the covers and into the spotlight.  As spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson said, “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”  To add to that, it won’t serve your freelance business either.

Let your inner diva shine! Everyone has one.  Even Beyonce admitted to it and named her Sasha Fierce.  As for me, I was nervous Nelly right before my meeting with a prospective client.  I was trying hard to portray confidence the way my husband rehearsed with me the night before.  Then, it suddenly hit me.  I didn’t have to fake confidence.  I already had it in me.  It’s there when I ask for what I need with loved ones and when I’m participating in an activity I love.  I didn’t need to fake it.  I just needed to embrace it.  The result?  I got the job I wanted.

Stay true to yourself. You know how much you’re worth.  Don’t settle for less.  The times when I’ve taken the risk and asked for what I needed, I’ve gotten it.  It’s actually the times when I took jobs that compromised my time and money that ended up being the most problematic.  It also made me resentful in the end.

Be willing to say no to be able to say yes to better opportunities. Recently, I had a chance to work with a nonprofit organization.  I was thrilled because as someone who’s either volunteered or worked for a nonprofit during most of my life, it truly felt like my career was coming full circle.  There was one snag, however.  The organization was unable to compensate me even at the very low end of my pay scale.  I was torn.  On one hand, I really wanted to work for this organization.  On the other, I knew it would take considerable amount of my time.  This meant that I would be unable to fit other higher paying writing jobs.  In the end, I decided to walk.  Imagine my surprise then, when the organization came back and met me in the middle.  I think this goes back to staying true to your values.  When you’re clear about your needs, the decision becomes easier.

The takeaway?

Be clear about what your worth and have faith that you will find other people who will respect your needs.  Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.   If you project inner confidence, are honest about your needs and decisive about your expectations, you will find that people will respect you more as well.

And as for that shrinking violet.  She’s still there, but I only let her come out on Halloween.

This post was first seen on writer Jesaka Long’s brilliant blog, “a.k.a. writer.” I must thank Jesaka again for asking me to be a guest blogger and for all the help she’s given me as a fellow freelancer. Thanks Jesaka!

Freelance writing is kind of like fishing. There’s a lot of waiting involved. You throw out the bait, wait for a bite and then get ready for the fight.

However, instead of thumb twiddling or going to the opposite extreme and getting unnecessarily busy (online shopping or applying for jobs like crazy, for example), this may be a good time to get yourself organized and prepared for the next bite.

Here are a few productive things to do while you’re waiting for your next big project:

1. Catch up on reading. Maybe now is not the best time to get into the latest Vampire craze or Stephen King novel. Unless, of course, you’re doing some research. Instead, I use the time to catch up on what’s going on in the freelance writing field. Besides reading pertinent articles and blogs online, I used the time to read up on books and magazines that cover copywriting, marketing and negotiating rates. All areas I’m hoping to learn more about.
2. Catch up with old contacts. Every week I go through my list of emails and send a quick, “How are you doing? Can I help you with anything else?” to past clients or outstanding queries. It’s a great way to check in and let editors know you’re still interested and waiting for the next step. I have actually received an email in the past from an editor who eventually gave me an assignment that way and apologized for being so slow to catch up.
3. Refocus your goals. It’s great to spend time focusing on your goals. What you wanted 6 months ago as a freelance writer, could be a whole different game now. Take a moment to figure out if the clients you have and the projects you are working on are still aligned with your goals. If they are not, figure out a way to get back on the right path. Let clients know you are open to working on new projects and start applying only for positions that really fit with you today.
4. Take inventory. Measure your successes and areas that need improvement on an excel sheet. Taking inventory of newspaper articles you finished and all the queries you haven’t are important. Find out what is holding you back. What things can you do to improve? If you start working on them now it will help get you that much closer to where you want to be.
5. Organize your paperwork. Take the time to organize receipts and invoices now and it will be much easier for you to get things in order when tax time comes around.

What about you? When things are slow, what things do you to do to help yourself and your business keep going?

As a freelance writer, sometimes you work with people who are unprofessional or difficult. Is it ever a good idea to state honestly how you feel about the working relationship or is it better to cut ties cleanly and quietly?

What do you think?

Better to be honest and state what’s not working (e.g. low pay, unreliable client) or end things without saying a word?

Here’s what I’ve learned.  Tell me if you think I’m wrong or right.  It seems like in the digital world particularly in the area of freelance writing, there is a wave of what I like to call “lit cliques.”  It’s kind of like being in high school, you know which group you belong-the geeks, the oddballs and you know which group you’d like to belong-the jocks, the popular crowd.

Well social networking on sites like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter is kind of like a big popularity contest where top freelancers are in one corner and others left feeling like odd man out.  While there are exceptions to the rule (Sherry and John of Young House Love are nice to everyone!), there does seem to be bit of a hierarchy.

My question is this: what does it take to be “in the know” with all of you talented writers out there?  I’d love to step in your corner and relinquish my role as odd woman out.  I think social networking should be about making contacts at all levels of writing business.  We have a lot to gain from each other.

So tell me? Is it just me or are there genuine cliques in the online world?  And if there are, send me an email and maybe we can start our own…

2.  Publishers can get away with a lot like promising to pay you and then suddenly disappearing into thin air.

3.  That you need to have an insane amount of faith (comparable to the number of rejections you receive).

4.  That this would be the best and yet the hardest job of my life.  I’m talking 10 hrs a night and weekends.

5.  That you need to be good at everything (marketing, accounting, managing on top of writing, editing and social networking).

6.  That some people (like acquaintances and relatives) think that when you tell them you’re a freelance writer you’re saying, “I’m an alien.”

7.  That you’ll doubt yourself almost every minute of every day.

8.  Some will mock you, criticize your writing and think anyone could do better.  And when I say “some” I mean you.

9.  That you might always fear that you’re not good enough or that you’re not a “real” writer.  Yeah someone will figure you out.

10.  That it can change you.  Not just who you are as a writer or how you write, but transform who you are.  The more stories you create and the more you become observant of what’s going on outside something happens to you on the inside.  This is why I write.  This is why I can go through items 1-9 and still feel grateful and alive.

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