You Are What You Think

photo by: yui.kubo

You know that saying, “You are what you eat?” I think it applies to writing too. How? As a graduate student in Psychology, I learned that there was an important interchangeable triangle that affected the way we did things.

Thoughts, Feelings, Behaviors

What we think influences how we feel. For example, if you’re telling yourself how horrible of a writer you are, you’ll feel horrible. And how you feel also affects your behavior.

What we feel influences what we think. If you just received another magazine rejection and feel like you’ll never get published, you’ll start to think about whether it’s even worth it to query that next magazine.

What we think/feel influences our behaviors. If you’re feeling bad about your writing and wondering if you’re good enough to get the next writing gig, then you might unconsciously do a bad job on that query or cover letter. Thereby sabotaging your career. I know because I’ve caught myself doing an inadequate job on applying for writing opportunities when I’m down on my abilities.

So what can you do before you allow your negative thoughts and feelings control your behavior?

Attack them before they lead to bad behavior. If your thoughts and feelings are more serious and pervasive, this may mean talking to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. But if you’re encountering expected reactions to rejections such as feeling doubtful about your abilities or thinking you’ll never make it as a writer, create a list of things you can do to counteract them.

1. Prepare for future rejections by creating a board or screensaver that includes all the positive feedback you’ve gotten so far.
2. Contact a supportive friend or positive family member who always makes you feel good about your writing.
3. Create a binder filled with past published pieces you’re particularly fond of and thumb through it when you’re feeling inadequate.
4. Read a biography or article on people you admire. Most successful people have had their fair share of rejection. Reading their stories will give you hope and motivation to keep going on.

Plan for moments in advance and you’ll stop the negativity before it affects your behavior.

Any things that you do to get through the hard parts of freelance writing?