Feel Like a Fake?

{via pinterest, originally from keep-calm-and.tumblr.com.}

A lot of writers I’ve talked to and read about say that no matter how much they’ve written, published, or even obtained awards for, they still feel like a fake. And I’m one of them.

I sometimes wonder what it would take for me to feel validated as in the words of one writer friend, “a real writer.” As if, there was such a thing. Although I enthusiastically try to point out all the reasons he is a writer: the fact that he actually writes (writing a novel, in fact) and has a tremendous passion for it, I can hardly do the same for myself.

Fake and Bake Writer

Instead I try to fake and bake it like that famous wannabe fried chicken we all grew up with. Add a little lemon juice here, shake on some flour there. Look close and it’s a hot mess, but you can’t really tell the difference from far away.

The Pressure to Live Up to the Name

I’m not really sure why we all feel obligated to apologize or add disclaimers when people ask us what we do for a living. My dentist wouldn’t do it. And I can hardly imagine my doctor saying, “Well, I’m a doctor. But I just started my practice and I don’t have too many patients yet so…” If he did, I’d know why he had such a slim client load.

But yet I hear it from other writers and I hear it in myself. Maybe I do it to brace myself from the inevitable response. “Have you written a book? No? Oh.” {Awkward pause. Change of subject.} I guess you’re not a real writer then? Okay the last question was more like a reaction that goes off in my own mind, not necessarily theirs.

But it’s brutal out there. And if you haven’t written a dozen books yet or established yourself on the internet, and you have a BIG dream, but no real evidence to show for it, how can you claim you’re a writer right?

This Year Live BIG!

I admit I haven’t spend any time composing a resolutions list. And I want to. Even though a lot of people think it’s worthless to do so, I find that taking the time to reflect on the past year and create an intention for what you want in the next is a smart way to spend your New Year’s. Better than drinking yourself sick and beginning the new year with a hangover. Unless that’s your idea of fun.

But one thing I really really really want to do this year is try out feeling good about saying, “I’m a writer” and mean it. I want to say it without a hint of shame, without embarrassment, minus meekness, sans apologetic. I want to simply say that is my vocation, my passion, my livelihood and I am proud of it.

Why You Should Stop Faking It

Faking it may have worked for you thus far. But it’s not honoring you or your passion. {It’s also dishonest if you’re faking in other areas.} Your writing career begins when you take yourself and your skills seriously. Everyone can write, but it takes heart to be a writer.

What do you want to accomplish in 2012? Do you ever feel like writer fake too?