A lot of writers I’ve talked to and read about say that no matter how much they’ve written, published, or even obtained awards for, they still feel like a fake. And I’m one of them.
I sometimes wonder what it would take for me to feel validated as in the words of one writer friend, “a real writer.” As if, there was such a thing. Although I enthusiastically try to point out all the reasons he is a writer: the fact that he actually writes (writing a novel, in fact) and has a tremendous passion for it, I can hardly do the same for myself.
Fake and Bake Writer
Instead I try to fake and bake it like that famous wannabe fried chicken we all grew up with. Add a little lemon juice here, shake on some flour there. Look close and it’s a hot mess, but you can’t really tell the difference from far away.
The Pressure to Live Up to the Name
I’m not really sure why we all feel obligated to apologize or add disclaimers when people ask us what we do for a living. My dentist wouldn’t do it. And I can hardly imagine my doctor saying, “Well, I’m a doctor. But I just started my practice and I don’t have too many patients yet so…” If he did, I’d know why he had such a slim client load.
But yet I hear it from other writers and I hear it in myself. Maybe I do it to brace myself from the inevitable response. “Have you written a book? No? Oh.” {Awkward pause. Change of subject.} I guess you’re not a real writer then? Okay the last question was more like a reaction that goes off in my own mind, not necessarily theirs.
But it’s brutal out there. And if you haven’t written a dozen books yet or established yourself on the internet, and you have a BIG dream, but no real evidence to show for it, how can you claim you’re a writer right?
This Year Live BIG!
I admit I haven’t spend any time composing a resolutions list. And I want to. Even though a lot of people think it’s worthless to do so, I find that taking the time to reflect on the past year and create an intention for what you want in the next is a smart way to spend your New Year’s. Better than drinking yourself sick and beginning the new year with a hangover. Unless that’s your idea of fun.
But one thing I really really really want to do this year is try out feeling good about saying, “I’m a writer” and mean it. I want to say it without a hint of shame, without embarrassment, minus meekness, sans apologetic. I want to simply say that is my vocation, my passion, my livelihood and I am proud of it.
Why You Should Stop Faking It
Faking it may have worked for you thus far. But it’s not honoring you or your passion. {It’s also dishonest if you’re faking in other areas.} Your writing career begins when you take yourself and your skills seriously. Everyone can write, but it takes heart to be a writer.
What do you want to accomplish in 2012? Do you ever feel like writer fake too?
Great post, Brandi. I’m sure many who read it will relate. For me, once I finally got over the anxiety of telling people “I’m a writer,” I began testing the waters with “I’m a novelist.” I guess as we grow as writers, there will always be another goal and another hurdle that will make us quiver in our boots. But that’s ok, I think, as long as we keep moving forward. I especially like your final line: “Everyone can write, but it takes heart to be a writer.”
Jessica, you’re one of my writing heroes. I can’t imagine getting over the first hurdle (writer) to the next one (novelist). But I can imagine it being both an accomplishment and the next obstacle. Do you think writing a book makes you feel more confident in saying that you’re a writer? Thanks for your comment!
I totally relate to this. How did writing become this prestigious profession that feels so unattainable as a lifelong profession? I love the analogy about your doctor.
This might get a little rambly here, because I have given it a lot of thought… One of my resolutions this year is to stop judging my own worth based on my profession/earnings. I think this goes hand-in-hand with calling myself a writer. We all (seems to be Americans, mostly) tend to label ourselves based on where we earn our money and/or how much we earn, how far up the ladder we rank, or in other absurd work-centric terms. I feel like a fake as a writer because I never really earned as much as I did in prior jobs, others were more established/had more clients/were published novelists, or simply because I had a full-time job outside of writing–so that full-time job was now my label. What a silly way to look at things, right?
In 2012, I aspire to base my worth on who I am as a person. Part of which is a writer. Though it still feels a little wrong to say that out loud 😉
Hi Crystal. I find it amazing that you writing mavens feel like a fake too. It’s such a shame that we’re automatically judged by how much we make versus how hard we work. If the latter was any indication, we’d be respected equally with lawyers and doctors. I’m glad you’re working on valuing yourself as a writer. It’s hard for me to believe that someone as talented as you could ever doubt yourself. But I understand where you’re coming from. I did write the post on it. =)
LOL, Brandi at the fake and bake line-classic. 🙂 I don’t know that I would go so far as saying I felt like a fake, but I distinctly remember the 1st time someone referred to me as a professional writer.
I had just started my freelance business and someone on a Group I belonged to on LinkedIn asked for ideas for their wellness campaign. I suggested an idea that she loved and another Group member commented. Leave it to a professional to come up with a great idea. It made it real for me. 🙂
My biggie for 2012 is a business-related book and some training videos. On a personal side, I want to finish my book on my 3-Day Walk for the Cure experience. I wish you and all your readers, Brandi, a happy, prosperous and healthy 2012!
Thanks, Brandi. What a sweet thing to say! It’s funny though, I had hoped telling people I “published a book” would somehow make it more real. But inevitably the next question is, “Oh? How many have you sold?” So there will always be another question, it seems! Maybe the trick it not worrying about what others think (easier said than done). 🙂
What a nice story Cathy! Sometimes other people can help validate what we already know instinctively. =) That’s how I feel about you guys. And wow great list for 2012! I’m excited to hear more about your book. Are you writing about it on the blog? I need a writing partner to motivate me to keep up a little one I’m writing too. Happy New Year Cathy!!
Great point! I think it may be the same with getting married. First people ask when are you getting married and then when you’re hitched they ask when are you having kids. You’re so right Jessica. The challenge in working in this field is to keep working on ourselves. Thanks for your insightful comment!