Sometimes when I’m creating, I feel a heaviness upon me. There’s a gorilla of a being sitting on my shoulders weighing me and my creativity down.
Know him?
He’s the guy that:
- says your writing isn’t good enough
- takes a kernel of negativity and rolls into a wave of self-defeating thoughts
- tells you you’ll never make it as a writer
- snickers when you finally get the courage to share your work
- whispers that you’re a fake and they’ll figure it out soon enough
- compares you excessively with other better writers
Classy guy isn’t he? That kind of sinister attitude is just in time for Halloween.
The sickening thing about him is that he knows you well. He knows your weaknesses, vulnerabilities and triggers so that at the right moment, he can easily bring you down-like dominoes.
How to Tackle Nigel
The good thing I realized recently is that the voice that has been haunting for most of my creative life is just a voice. It’s not my voice. It’s that of the inner critic. And if you are a creative, then you have one too.
International best-selling author Julia Cameron calls hers Nigel. Mine’s doesn’t have a name. At least any name I could type here.
I don’t see any good about him. I think he is the compilation of voices that have criticized or judged me or my work since I was a kid. And I’ve let it get the best of me for far too long.
The one way that I’ve learned to tackle him is through awareness. Today, when I went out walking I realized that there was a space between my thoughts and my being. Being able to separate the two, being able to put a wall between them, helped me to see that my inner critic was not the truth. Maybe it had been built up over a lifetime to prevent disappointment or external rejection. Maybe it was there to prevent me from getting too BIG, to stay small. But there is no need for it anymore.
Time to get packing Nigel or whoever you are. I’m ready to release you.
