Instead of an A for excellent, they probably should have given you a P-for perfectionist. You know who you are.
- You spend an inordinate amount of time perfecting your craft.
- You have been known to make basketballs out of your shoddy pieces of work.
- If anyone asked your friends of your family, what they admire about you and what annoys them most about you, the answer would be the same = your perfectionism.
- You’re probably working the perfect on the outside with a bit neurotic on the inside (a.k.a. you’re also a control freak).
- You end up charging less than you should for any project because of the extra time you spend correcting and rewriting your pieces.
- You have nightmares about turning in your work filled with misspellings and grammatical errors.
Okay truthfully there are a lot of worse things to be than a perfectionist. Martha Stewart is obviously one of them and she’s not that bad is she? The only time perfectionism becomes an issue is when it starts interfering with your life. If you can’t stop worrying, for example, about an article you’re working on, you’re unable to let go of or start a project because you think it’s “not good enough,” or you’re spending more time working than living your life, maybe it’s time you start practicing imperfection for once.
Imperfection Tips for the Perfectionist
Be like Bunny.
That’s what I tell myself when I get on my high horse and pretend that perfection is possible. I spend lots of time with my mini lop bunny. I watch how he jumps high atop boxes and couches and then inevitably falls down. But he doesn’t moan and groan and whine about how he’s not the perfect bunny. He just dusts himself off and tries again. This works by watching children and other pets too.
Be a beginner again.
Take a new exercise class or an art class. Do something that doesn’t intimidate you and do it for the pure pleasure of participating. Forget about being judged, graded or about accomplishing. Enjoy the process of creating.
I also love these two tips from The Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard) from Jill Badonsky, M.Ed.
Set a timer.
“If you do something over and over, trying to get it perfect, set a time limit and stop. Come back to it later, but at one point know what you have done is enough and then let go of it.”
Just like turning on the timer when playing a board game, tricking our brains to thinking we’ve got a deadline will help us quickly make decisions and move on.
Practice affirmations.
Whatever you think of affirmations, know that it’s not as silly as Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley on SNL. Affirmations are simply positive thoughts. Think about how many negative thoughts are spinning in your head every day. Now think of how nice it would be if you had a few positive ones. Try these from Badonsky’s book:
“I release the need to be perfect. I am evolving into someone I love for who I am, not for what I do.”
“I’m finding the joy in the journey.”
“I engage, willingly, in any experience where discovery, growth, and self-awareness are a possibility. I seek the process of growth over a product of perfection.”
What helps you keep a healthy balance of perfectionism in your life?
