photo by: RogueSun Media
I say “acting” because that’s what all writers feel at some point in their careers. That we are all acting, pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes, pretending that we are actual writers when there are days we wonder if we’ll ever really deserve the title.
That’s how I felt on the days I put on my mask and became “the journalist.” Since I got my degree in English not Journalism, I wear that badge with both fear and trepidation. I don’t want anyone thinking that I (god forbid!) am a real reporter less they mock my writing style, scrutinize my copy and laugh behind my back at my poor attempt at journalistic prose. After all, I’m not a real reporter, am I?
While undercover in my sad attempt to protect my weary heart from public attack, I still learned a great deal about life. Whether we admit it or not, the process of writing enables us to become the role we fear-a writer. The amazing thing is that when I learn to accept the possibility of the position, I learned a great deal about myself and about life. Here’s what I absorbed from walking in the shoes of a reporter:
- You’ll always wonder if you did enough. I may have interviewed hundreds of people including my list of “must-interview” and stayed longer at an event than I need to, but I’ll still wonder as I’m walking away, “Did I do enough?”
- Which brings me to #2…In the words of Kenny Rogers, “you’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” Whether you are on your upteenth time of editing your manuscript or rereading your query or staying longer than you should at an event you’re covering because of self-doubt, there is a point when you just need to say, “Okay. I’ve done all I can and now I need to let go and see what happens.”
- I’m not special. Okay I might be special to my family and to my friends but to the average Joe, a reporter is just a person with a notepad and pen that’s as appealing as a mosquito in a sleeping person’s ear. While some may flock to you because they want their ten minutes of fame, others can’t be bothered. Did you ever hear Five for Fighting’s song Superman? Basically it’s a sob story about how even superheroes have their bad days. Some days being a writer makes me feel like a superhero leaping over harsh criticism and self-doubt and then I’ll ask a question to someone who can’t be bothered and then I’m suddenly back on the ground.
- That life happens in mundane things. Sure there are events that are big, profound and life changing. But I’m learning that it’s the anniversaries, festivals and day-to-day activities between people that makes up a life. Those are the stories that remind me life is more than just events, it’s the people and the relationships that are most moving and that can really change one’s life.
- When everything else fails, use your intuition. I’m always extra prepared before I enter an interview for a magazine or an event for a newspaper. I’ve been known in fact to bring two tape recorders, a bag full of batteries and pens, just in case. I also write down questions to every possible person I should interview and could meet. Here’s what I learned. Life never happens the way you plan. In the situation where I over-prepared for the interview with several tape recorders and batteries, none actually worked! When I entered a room filled with people, my original questions went unanswered. But that was a good thing. In the first scenario, I used my intuition and focused on my interviewee and stopped worrying about the tape and in the second, I learned to trust my instincts. While I did talk to my primary resources, I also let go of the idea that I needed to interview everybody and instead focused on being in the moment. The result was that I got valuable information from people I had not intended to meet.
- Fake it and it will come. As writers, we are often our worst enemy. We sabotage our abilities not because we don’t have them but because of our insecurities. Here’s what I discovered. If you pretend that you are a writer/reporter, no one will know the difference, least of all you. The thing is, we already have the desire, the ability and the skill, what’s lacking usually is our faith. Fake it and with time the confidence will come.
