If you’re reading this, you want to be published. You want to become an author or be published in a mainstream magazine.
Congratulations on acknowledging this HUGE first step!
As someone who has walked this path from absolutely no writing experience aside from an internship to working full-time as a copywriter to eventually getting published in newspapers and magazines, I know how simply COURAGEOUS it is to just admit your dream.
And I know how difficult it is to want to share it with others who end up telling you why being a writer is a dismal job with little opportunity. And they’ll say worse things. Things that will make you want to quit writing, and feedback that will make you want to give up.
Rejection is the name of the querying game.
And as someone who is actively querying agents and editors, I wanted to share something that’s been immensely helpful to me on the journey.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself while you’re putting yourself out there is to practice self-care.
I’m not talking about painting your nails or soaking in a tub. These things are nice additions to self-care, but the art of nurturing yourself in a field that has rejection baked in is to redefine what it means to take care of yourself in an emotional, not just physical way.
One of the best things you can do is practice self-compassion. That on the really hard days you turn off social media notifications. You may place your hand on your heart and offer words of self-kindness. This might feel strange at first, but use the words that feel right to you. Start small. Do it even if it feels cheezy.
Words like, “Hey you are doing an amazing job!”
Or, “I love you and it’s hard right now.”
“I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished.”
And work on appreciating how much effort it takes to send out your manuscript or receive feedback from a critique group. There’s nothing easy about it. And while it becomes tolerable over time, it’s always challenging to hear that an agent doesn’t identify or connect with your work. Or that a critique partner doesn’t get what you’re trying to say. Or your title isn’t good or your plot needed fixing.
There will be many times when you’ll doubt whether your work is important, or needed, or worthy of publication.
These are critical questions you should ask at some point in your revision process. But you need to also take into account your emotional state when inquiring what stage of your writing you are in.
Your writing will always be important, needed and worthy of publication, but is it ready for publication in the stage it’s in? If it’s not, you may need time to rest. You may need time to nurture yourself, to remember why you’re working on this in the first place. You may need time to work on something else. But the good news is once you give yourself the space to do these things, the work will be waiting for you. Every brilliant published piece started from ruin. Every writer and author at some point thought their work was a piece of $4iT.
If you’ve landed here after receiving a heartbreaking rejection letter, then you owe to yourself to rethink your schedule. If the only things on it are tasks, start to schedule in time for meditation, a daily freewriting activity, a call with a supportive friend, and an activity you thoroughly enjoy.
And remember these things:
- Being published isn’t everything. It doesn’t validate who you are. It doesn’t make you worthy. You are worthy. You are talented. You are creative. And you will get there. You don’t have to get there through traditional means. Self-publishing is a very respected option.
- Just because that person rejected it, doesn’t mean someone else will. Publishing is a subjective industry. I’ve heard a journalist say once that if they send out five queries and receive five template rejections, they need to rework something. If the rejections are positive, then it’s likely with a few tweaking they’ll get an acceptance if they keep querying.
- Publishing is a long difficult path. It could take months and likely years to see your work in a bookstore. This is why I always want my coaching clients to be clear about why they want to be published. Whenever I begin to feel despair, I remember my grandparents and how hard they worked and how their story was never told. I write for them. And so that my children will know their story.
Why do you want to get published? And what has helped you during long periods of manuscript rejections?
