In the 14 years that I’ve been writing professionally, I’ve had many ups and downs, as well as yikes and oops moments! It’s pretty much a part of my daily regime and definitely a huge slice of my writing journey.
I love sharing all the embarrassing faux pas I’ve made because I want to pass down the wisdom to you. So you don’t make the same mistakes as I have. Here’s hoping.
That’s why I pulled together a list of things I’ve done. Some were understandable errors and others I wished I had known better. But all have taught me something valuable about the publishing process.
Which ones can you relate to? Share what you’ve been through. There are no judgy eyes here.
- Do not bombard agents or editors with multiple submissions, one after the other.
Even if they send you one of those kind emails inviting you to resend. Give them a few months to recover from reading the first one that you sent. (I’m embarrassed at how many times I’ve done this. It’s only after hearing an agent speaking at a recent SCBWI event that I realized what a faux pas that was and apologize. And I wasn’t impatient just ignorant.)
- Be prepared and ready to go with a book proposal/manuscript ready submissions.
Because I never thought I’d ever get a book published, I was always behind when a publisher contacted me about a book idea. Sure I had book ideas. Many in fact. But how polished was it really? How much research had I done previously? When you don’t believe in your writing, you have half-hearted dreams. This is also known as self-sabotage. When opportunity comes your way, you want to be ready. While you are getting rejections, this is a good time to firm up that book proposal or your manuscripts. There will be a time when an editor or agent will ask for that full or to read anything else you have written. Take an honest look at your stash. Do you have enough finished work to present to them?
- Do not send out a query before you’re ready.
Oh how I wished I didn’t jump the gun so many times. Okay maybe I was impatient. But writing manuscripts for years can do that to you. You feel like you’re writing in a void, sacrificing time with your family for something that no one might ever read. So sometimes you hit send because who knows how long it’ll take that editor or agent to read it anyway. This is what I thought too until I received a) rejections within an hour b) an email for the full manuscript before it was finished c) prematurely X a lot of agents/editors from my list because I sent them too early.
- Do not twist yourself into a pretzel to get a yes.
I know what this is like. This feels like adolescence or early adulthood when all you want is someone to give you a chance so you do and say anything to get them to say, “Yes.” You write stories that are on-trend. You manipulate the ending or the characters or theme because you think you’ll have a better chance. You read MSWL obsessively and try to find some way to hook your story into their interests, but know it’s a stretch. You contort yourself, your voice, your values because all you want is to get published. The truth is when your story is ready, you will find a good agent and editor who believes in you and you won’t have to put on a mask to be asked to be published. This isn’t a popularity contest or validation that you’re a good person or even a good writer. This is simply a business where you should be treated as a person with values, preferences, ideas and your own beliefs. Stay true to what’s important to you. This is not about an editor asking you to write a certain kind of book. This is about you thinking you have to change what’s important to you, what you believe is true in order to be published. Know the difference.
This publishing game is a challenging one. Since I was a kid, I always did things the hard way, which is why I think I chose to be a writer and write children’s fiction. It’s not easy especially when the nature of improvement requires constant feedback and critique. Making mistakes is par for the course. There are no big egos here only the chance to be a better writer and hopefully, get published.
As someone who has walked down this road of shame many, many times, I understand what it’s like. This is especially true if you’re a perfectionist and can’t tolerate bad writing or rejections. To stay afloat, I keep remembering why I do this writing thing. I listen to other writers. I read. And I coach other creatives who inspire and remind me why I do it all in the first place.
Writing is just like life. You need to crack all the hard veneer that you built as you grew into an adult to become who you were meant to be. Writing is the tool that allows you to do that. It opens you up. It humbles you. It teaches you how to see your life. And you cannot do it alone.
Writing requires inner strength and resilience. Sometimes it requires a coach to support you, cheer you on and help you see through the web of fear. That’s what I’m fortunate enough to do for a few people. I have an opening right now. Email me if you’d like to know more.
